Monday, January 17, 2011

Casting my cares.

My life will never be the same.

The last few months have shaken the world I've so carefully constructed to the foundations I've guarded so cautiously.

This blog was never suppose to be about the deepest longings of my heart, or the wounds of my soul, or even my career.  This blog was about what I had for dinner, what I made on craft night, the tomato monster and the adventures that make me love my life.  There's a little pink book in the drawer of my vanity for my deeper concerns and my more intimate thoughts.  Still, although I can divide blog and journal, I am only one Amy.  Just one person, not meant to be divided.  Some wounds are so deep and some changes so profound that it is dishonest to myself and my world to pretend that I am the same as I was before.

I am not the same, and I never will be.  Therefore, I suppose that my world, my home, my family, my relationships, and even this blog will also never be the same.  What I'm working on right now is believing that never the same doesn't mean never okay, or even never happy again.

For my closest friends, pray for me.  Call me or write me a letter.  Prop me up for a while.  And understand that I'm broken.

For this blog, someday soon I'll start posting again.  I'll post what I eat for dinner, even if I still don't taste it.  I'll post what Alyssa and I make.  I'll post about the vast improvements I've made to organization in our little nest.  I'll post the new words I learn in Australia. 

Someday soon.

In the meantime, I'll cast my cares on Him the best I can.

1 comment:

  1. You feel broken, but you're not. You're still wonderful, loving, thoughtful, funny, smart, beautiful, amazing Amy. Love you. See my email. xoxo