Show me what Love Sees, reflections for Mother's Day.

It's been a bit emotional at our house. As I struggle to seek that perfect balance of mom, wife, engineer, incurbator, friend, hostess, organizer, decorator, I start to drown a bit in the details.  I'm mostly too tired lately to really take stock of my progress or failure, but when I do, I sometimes feel discouraged and frustrated.

I see the piles of mail slowly building.  I see the scratched paint on the stairs, the crumbs in the corner of the kitchen floor, the cat hair on the sofa.  I see the work task list long and unfinished next to the not started professional development list.  I see the goal of thanking my husband left unchecked yet again.  I see my well intentioned art projects for Colin unopened and the pinterest ideas untried.

And if I'm not careful, I quickly see a mounting list of my lifetimes failures and short comings.

I randomly opened a magazine laying on our counter and found this quote:

"Tell me your Story, Show me your wounds.
And I'll show your what love sees, when love looks at you.
Hand me the pieces, broken and burised.
And I'll show your what love sees when love looks at you."

And I stopped to think about it.

When Colin looks at me, his look is full of love  and trust.  He doesn't seem me as the sum of my professional achievements, or my house keeping, or my ability to do everything right.  I'm just mommy.  He sees mommy and he loves me.

Being a mother is the biggest responsibility I've had.  It's a humbling honor and I am so grateful for every moment with my young, growing family.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mommy."

Mother's Day.

This mother's day was magic.  Having this little boy in my life has changed me in so many ways and I am so proud to be his mother.

I love you, always.  

Didn't I feed you Yesterday?

In addition to my book club books, I'm also back to Audio books.   Most recently, I downloaded an audio book for my commute last weekend.


Didn't I Feed You Yesterday? by Laura Bennett

I downloaded this book because I was in a hurry and it was available instantly, but I can not for the life of me tell you why I added this book to my Library Wish list in the first place.  I suspect it's because I love self help books, I was very pregnant and it had 'guide' in the subtitle.  I love self help 'guides,' no matter how gimmicky.

Only it wasn't a self help book at all.  It was just a book about some designer from some reality TV show I have zero interest in.  Apparently America decided she was a bad mother during her appearance on "Project Runway".  My guess is this book was her way of defending herself, although it seems to me she is trying to convince herself as much as she is trying to convince the rest of the world.

I'm new to motherhood, but I already detest "The Mommy Wars".  I have some pretty strong convictions about the most important aspects of how we will raise Colin, but I have no right to judge anyone else's decisions as long as the child is safe and their needs are being met.  Still, when you decide to be a reality TV show contestant, you are intentionally putting yourself in front of American to be judged and discussed.  That's the point of reality TV (and a big reason why I hate it).  Despite what Ms Bennett tells herself and writes in her book, I think she has been much more affected by this judgement than she admits.

I could discuss the things I disagree with in the book, but anyone who likes (no, loves) to spend $1000.00 on shoes is so different than me that dissecting things we disagree about would take an entire book in itself.  As an example, I would never suggest that someone regularly chew nicotine gum as a method of weight control...