Sneaking back into life

This year has sucked.  Badly.  I can only hope it's the worst year of my life.  I declared it the worst year on January 8th, that's how bad of a year it is.

As a result, I've spent a good majority of this year escaping into the relative safety of my chosen profession.  Holidays, birthdays, and returning phone calls or emails have fallen by the wayside, along with, for the most part, this blog.  Lack of blogging has primarily been a function of lack of activities that I like to blog about.  If I had a blog about my adventures in Construction, it'd be alive and well, but crafting, cooking, hiking, etc have really been pretty minimal lately.  


But right now, I feel a bit like Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog.  I'm ever so cautiously sneaking back into life, hoping to God nothing scares me back into the ground for another 6 weeks (months, years, decades?) of winter. 

So here's a toast to trying:

Our Purple Themed Drinks: Purple Haze and Story Nights to toast a new try

It's time to rejoin Jen for happy hour.  Plan that recurring game night at our house.  Do crafts.  It's at least time to try...

Happy Annivesary to the ground! :)

Sorry, blog readers.  Inside Joke. 

Last weekend was our first wedding anniversary.  It's been a rough year for us, still even the bad times have reminded me that I wouldn't trade our love for anything.  I am also so grateful for our wedding.  There were SO many times during the planning of the wedding that I literally tossed the plans on the floor, picked up my purse and said "That's it, let's go to Vegas."  I am so grateful we didn't.

Now, for all time we have that one perfect day as a representation of our love.  Perfect weather, perfect location, perfect pictures, even perfect snafus.

I love you, Gavin!

As a wedding gift from some very special friends, we received a first anniversary romantic get away to Big Sur.  So last weekend, we packed up the the car and headed to Post Ranch Inn!

Not long after we started dating, Gavin and I drove his car from Illinois to California.  It was a fun trip.  We talked, sang, laughed, and shared our life stories.  This drive equally enchanting (okay, the last hour on the way home was a bit daunting, but other than that amazing).

The hotel was gorgeous, inside and out.  Even the bathtub had an awesome ocean view!

 We had big plans for how we'd spend out days in Big Sur, but with a view from your bed like this:

How do you leave?

So we mostly hung around the property.  We watched the animals, hiked and even saw a deer!

It was pretty funny actually.  We were walking along this trail and I saw a deer very close to us.  We were standing there looking at each other for so long that we figured out it was fake.  Just as I was feeling embarrassed for being duped, it turned it's head walked away.  When we turned the next corner on the trail, it was standing there looking at us again!  It was so beautiful.  I was half convinced it was animatronic.  I'm too Disney, I guess.

Overall, it was a fantastic weekend of nice Champagne, bird watching, relaxing and mostly remembering and celebrating the most important thing in my life, my husband.

Happy Anniversary, Gavin.

Casting my cares.

My life will never be the same.

The last few months have shaken the world I've so carefully constructed to the foundations I've guarded so cautiously.

This blog was never suppose to be about the deepest longings of my heart, or the wounds of my soul, or even my career.  This blog was about what I had for dinner, what I made on craft night, the tomato monster and the adventures that make me love my life.  There's a little pink book in the drawer of my vanity for my deeper concerns and my more intimate thoughts.  Still, although I can divide blog and journal, I am only one Amy.  Just one person, not meant to be divided.  Some wounds are so deep and some changes so profound that it is dishonest to myself and my world to pretend that I am the same as I was before.

I am not the same, and I never will be.  Therefore, I suppose that my world, my home, my family, my relationships, and even this blog will also never be the same.  What I'm working on right now is believing that never the same doesn't mean never okay, or even never happy again.

For my closest friends, pray for me.  Call me or write me a letter.  Prop me up for a while.  And understand that I'm broken.

For this blog, someday soon I'll start posting again.  I'll post what I eat for dinner, even if I still don't taste it.  I'll post what Alyssa and I make.  I'll post about the vast improvements I've made to organization in our little nest.  I'll post the new words I learn in Australia. 

Someday soon.

In the meantime, I'll cast my cares on Him the best I can.

Penny Lane

Penny has been called many things.  Bird.  Alien.  Anorexic.  Funny looking.

I can attest that she has no eating disorder, but the others are still debatable!  Gavin and I got Penny in 2007.  She is originally from Iowa form a breeder we would never recommend to anyone.  Gavin flew to get her and then almost immediately left for the WSOP.  Not Cool.

The next few months I feel in love with and occasionally wanted to shake Penny. There were many sleepless nights those first few weeks, but overall, she's turned out to be a sweet pet who steals hearts everywhere she goes.

I did most of her puppy kindergarten/obedience training, but now Gavin and I do most of her training together before bed (in an attempt to exhaust her and ensure everyone gets some sleep!) 

Some of our favorite tricks:

Sit!

Wait

Down

Shake

Perch

 

Dance

Fly off into the sunset!